How to help a friend?? – Empty Closets – A safe online community for …

2 May

I don’t know if this belongs in here, but I figured that some of you might have dealt with a similiar situation, so here goes:
I have this very good friend that I know for about 3 years now. We’re both males in our late 20’s. Ever since I’ve known him, He never had a girlfriend / fling or never once he mentioned anything about any women. I know for a fact from him that he never had a girlfriend. He virtually never discusses or mentions any relationship/sex/crushes/etc issues – not with me, and not with anyone of our friends circle for all I know. Some of our mutual friends (including his roommate which is very good friends with him as well) are puzzled by this. It is worth mentioning that this guy is considered by women as attractive, successful, very smart, self-confident etc. He obviously gets hit on and approached by women – but he seems simply uninterested and he never acts on it. Some might suspect he’s a closeted gay. If that’s the case – he’s doing a pretty good job ‘hiding’ it (Not that he needs to. I don’t think that anyone of our friends circle would have a problem with that if that’s the thing). Every once in a while some friend will approach me and ask me if I know ‘what’s going on over there’ with him. Usually I just ignore or dismiss them, and tell them that it’s his business alone and his private issues are his own matter – If he wishes to share it with someone, he will do it on his own terms and we shouldn’t poke our noses there. However, someone lately ‘challenged’ my perspective on this and said that as his friend I should try and find out ‘what’s wrong’ and ‘that he needs help from me’ because he’s obviously in distress and misery – and so I’m ought to talk with him about ‘it’.

What should I do? I feel that if I will go directly on this and try to talk with him about this I will make him feel uncomfortable, ‘cornered’ and that his privacy is being ‘invaded’. He’s a very good friend and I don’t want to scare him or make him feel more stressed out than he might already is. Need your advice. Thanks!


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